


the clock on the wall is a quarter past midnight

by katana_fleet



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 02:32:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10295531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katana_fleet/pseuds/katana_fleet
Summary: somehow, throughout the weeks, months, years of knowing her, killian looks at emma and knows two things: he will love her, and he will marry her.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [katniss_annabeth_luna_mellark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katniss_annabeth_luna_mellark/gifts).



> title from 'midnight in a perfect world' by dj shadow. all credit to the abc, the a&e, and the o'donoghue. another introspective piece that no one asked for.
> 
> also this is a belated birthday present for katniss_annabeth_luna_mellark because we spent most of sunday night yelling at each other over this last episode and her birthday occurred recently. so happy birthday, micci!

The moment he sees her, something inside of him whispers _this is the woman I’ll marry_. Even though every thought is consumed with his revenge, his need to avenge Milah’s death, his need to find and destroy Rumplestiltskin… he knows when he looks at Emma Swan that he will love her until his dying day.

The moment she holds out her hand for the magic bean in Granny’s restaurant, when he sees the fire of her passion flashing in her eyes, he knows he’ll marry her.

The moment he decides to return and the moment he drops the glowing white of the magic bean into her hand, when the grateful astonishment in her eyes threatens to make him fall head over heels in love, he knows he’ll marry her.

When he dares her to kiss him and she doesn’t just kiss him—she takes his breath and his heart and his soul and his revenge and his very reason for living—he knows he’s long gone. Whatever heart he’d had left for himself, the piece of heart that hadn’t belonged to Milah, that heart’s hers. His life is hers, his heart is hers, his hand is hers.

Throughout the rest of their trip in Neverland, as they try to find and eventually rescue her lad, he watches her and he tries to win her heart, he knows he’ll marry her.

The hardest moment of his life since Milah fell. The one thing he’d never dreamed would happen—he loses his Emma. His Swan, the woman he loves, crosses the line out of Storybrooke and into a peaceful oblivious life with Henry. All he can think as the yellow car disappears is _that’s the woman I love_ and he feels tears on his cheek when they arrive in the Enchanted Forest again. He doesn’t think he’ll marry her.

How can he? She doesn’t know him—the kiss didn’t work—until she drinks the potion and suddenly there’s a shining bright light and his unrequested dream is alive again.

Throughout their fight against Zelena, their struggle to save Emma’s new brother, and when they fall into the Enchanted Forest once more, he knows she doesn’t really want to leave Storybrooke. And if he thinks that part of that reason is him? Well, he doesn’t want to brag when she leans forward to kiss him, but she’s probably in love with him. In that moment, he can see what he understood as truth almost two years ago, and he knows he’ll marry her.

The next few weeks are flashes of the future he longs for mixed with flashes of the future he’d have without the woman he loves. Rumplestiltskin takes his heart and his love is quieted, but he never forgets why he has to regain his heart, why he loves Emma, and why he so wishes for a life with her. Right now, as he kisses her goodbye, it seems so unlikely that he’ll have the chance to marry her.

The six weeks are the blessed dream life he’s always wanted. When he looks at Emma after the six weeks of happiness are over, encourages her to keep going, to stay strong, he wishes to be with her forever, just like this, and he knows he’ll marry her.

The darkness is freed from Rumplestiltskin. It takes Emma away from him. She leaves him with three words he doesn’t know what to do with and a dagger with her name written across it like a scar. His entire mind pulses with one thought: without her, does he even have a future now?

They find her in Camelot, and she’s the Dark One but she’s so beautiful. When Merlin takes her away for their quest to find the first Dark One, he can’t resist giving her the ring he’s wanted to give her for so long. Liam’s ring. It’s not the other ring he wants to give her—he’s not thinking about proposing yet—but suddenly, that future seems clear. As he walks away, leaving Emma leaning against the well, he knows he’ll marry her.

He’s the Dark One. The Dark One doesn’t have _dreams_ like marrying the woman he loves.

He waits for Emma in the Underworld. She’ll come for him, he knows it. As he lay dying, he knew, in those moments of abject agony, that she wants their future as much as he does. The white picket fence house and the future of happiness and glowing love and everything he’s ever dreamed of. She’ll come for him, and he’ll return to Storybrooke with her, and the moment she’s safe again he’ll ask her and he’ll marry her. That’s the dream that keeps him breathing—is it even breathing?—as Hades tortures him.

She comes for him, and their love is that magical brand called True, and he has to make her leave without him. She wears his ring around her neck, and that’ll have to be enough. As the elevator disappears, he feels his dream dying—but he’ll not move on until she is safe.

Zeus returns him to Emma—she’s in his arms—she’s kissed every inch of his face—he’s holding her like there’s no tomorrow—because until five minutes ago there _was_ no tomorrow—that moment he’s seen for so long is clear again— _god_ he loves this woman. Right now, he knows there’s nothing that will stop him from asking his Swan to marry him.

After the visions, he holds Emma tightly as she shakes. She sees the image of the cloaked figure striking her down, and her magic fades. When he pulls her close, he knows he’s going to have to kill whoever’s keeping Emma from believing she has a future. He’ll do everything he can to keep Emma strong, anything he can—that’s what he’s always done.

The day after he returns from meeting his little brother and healing Nemo, he finds himself in front of a jewelry store. An hour later, he leaves the store with a small black box in his pocket, the ring he chose for Emma waiting inside. He doesn’t know when he’ll ask her, but he will. Despite everything that’s happening recently, he still has hope, and he still knows he’ll marry her.

Archie laughs with joy when he shows him the ring, and David gives him his fatherly blessing with tears in his eyes and a grin.

He doesn’t know when, but soon he’ll get down on one knee in front of Emma Swan, and he’ll hold this ring out to her, and he’ll ask her to marry him. He’s known it would happen for years. Soon his dream will come true.


End file.
